Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize