We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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