So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
