Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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