It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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