This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
