need another drink. this is the easiest way
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
