If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize