i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"