Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.