party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper