Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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