its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
