also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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