sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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