A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
