their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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