last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
