fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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