fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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