I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up under a house in Key West
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