I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i will never coherently bang her
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize