No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
