I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
