I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
