people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
