were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
