We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
