can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
