Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
