did you get engaged???
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
