i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
