hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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