FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
