you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize