You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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