The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
