They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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