If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
