Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
