I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
