we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
