he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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