New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize