It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
