I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We need to get me chipped asap
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
