Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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