And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
