Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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