i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
