i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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