"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
