Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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