I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize