Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
