Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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