Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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