I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am one with the molecules
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
