The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize